Our Journey Back to Naples, Italy: But We Never Expected This!

Sometimes when you travel, your first impressions of a place are not what you thought they’d be… sometimes they’re spot on and other times are dead wrong. But I never thought I wouldn’t like my grandfather’s home of Naples, Italy. Here’s why we were so disappointed with Naples at first, on our trip back to the home of our Italian ancestors (it’s not what you might think) and why some Italian-Americans might feel the same.  

A girl went back to Napoli, because she missed the scenery
The native dances and the charming songs, but wait a minute, something’s wrong
— Rosemary Clooney, Mambo Italiano

First Impressions of Naples, Italy

 

This woman looks like every one of my Italian aunts :-)

Traveling can be stressful. Exhaustion and misplaced expectations can lead you to feel underwhelmed when you get to a new place. When we arrived in Naples years ago on our first trip to Italy, we thought maybe that was the case. We were probably just tired. You might not be surprised to hear we were underwhelmed. After all, Naples doesn’t exactly have the fans that other Italian cities like Positano, Florence, Rome, or Venice have. To be honest, it’s not exactly on many bucket lists and seems to just be a necessary itinerary stop when visiting Italy and many travelers avoid it altogether.

By the end of my first day there, I began to have a sinking feeling in my stomach. Something didn't feel quite right. I didn't have the familiar feeling of excitement and anticipation I usually have when I start traveling, eager to discover a new place. I couldn't put my finger on it, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt, since we'd been planning this experience for a while. My husband and I were finally taking our big anniversary trip back to Naples, Italy where it all began for our families before they emigrated to the United States at the turn of the last century. While it isn’t the most expensive place in Europe, Italy takes planning and a decent budget, so the last thing I wanted was to regret our decision to come here.

 

Naples, Italy, Our Ancestor Home

 

My grandfather was born outside of Naples, in the hill towns around Mount Vesuvius not far from Pompeii, and he came to America with his parents from the Port of Naples when he was 8 years old. My husband's grandfather was also from the mountain towns east of Naples. So this trip held deeper meaning for us both, like a reconnection on some level with our ancestors.

Misplaced Expectations

We settled in more on our second day and spent the day exploring the historic city of Naples. By late in the afternoon we were ready for a glass of wine. Good thing we were in Italy, wine is always on the menu! I was reluctant to bring it up, but my husband saved me by saying what it turned out we'd both been feeling. 

 

I love these poster-size funerary notices tacked up all around the neighborhoods in Italy, the older ones covered up by the new. To me, its nicer than a one day obituary. They linger for days and weeks, like the grief we naturally feel at the loss of a loved one.

"How are you liking this so far?" he asked, and then I saw that look on his face that after 25 years told me that he was the one not liking it so far. "I don't know what it is," he said "but I'm not really feeling it". What a relief. I wasn’t the only one. We talked about it more at length, over lots more wine, each of us throwing out raw thoughts and trying to get to the heart of the problem.

 

"It all just feels so...I don't know...familiar... to me."

 

And there it was. That was it! 

 

Was Italy Too Familiar?

 

Together, my husband and I had checked off some of the more alluring locations on our bucket list that exemplify the colorful culture and indigenous people of National Geographic - Bali, Peru, Lombok, Patagonia, Mexico, and many trips to Central America in between. But as it turned out, Italy turned out to be the least "exotic" place either of us had ever been to. 

 

On the surface, Naples wasn't exotic enough — it was all too familiar to us — and that's what we hadn't expected. It never occurred to us that we were in fact, the indigenous people of this region. It was the first time we'd returned to the home of our ancestors in Italy, and as second-generation Italian-Americans, the whole atmosphere were common to us - the food, the smells, the cadence of the spoken language. It was like we’d never home at all. Even the people looked familiar, which wasn't surprising given we were now wading in our own gene pool.

We just hadn't been there long enough to delve into the more authentic Italian culture we'd lost two generations ago, though we would find it soon enough.

It never occurred to us that we were, in fact, the indigenous people of Naples.

What Is It About Naples?

Napoletanos have a very different style about them, and I'm not talking about their fashion sense, though I could go on for days about that. They're not as outwardly friendly as people I've met in, say, Mexico or other Latin American countries. Children didn't seem as carefree and happy as I've seen elsewhere, and there was a feeling like everyone was just a little on edge, preoccupied, or reserved.

It's not that they're unfriendly in Naples, but people can seem a little brusk, like New Yorkers. And because I'm from New Jersey (close enough), I think I know why that is. They’re just not interested in what you're doing. Not that they don't care, far from it. But tourists aren’t the main attraction, or even an attraction.

Now That We Got That Out of the Way

Naples is truly an enigma, and I understand why people either love it or hate it. It is a place that stirs quick emotions, like the people themselves. Naples is a 21st century medieval city, with layer upon layer of patchwork covering the crumbling foundation which occasionally peeks through, like the paper funerary notices tacked up on neighborhood corners, the newest ones plastered right over the old. People here live amidst the ruins every day, surrounded by unknown treasures and centuries-old antiquities, and the challenges that brings. They celebrate life, love and family with equal passion. Naples is the good, the bad, and the ugly of any place I've ever visited - and I fell madly in love with it.

It took us a few days to understand what it was like to travel so far from home to a country that felt so oddly familiar. Frankly, it surprised us. We didn't have that feeling of coming home that some Italian-Americans experience. Once we understood the reason for our discontent, we started to relax and savor every moment of this very familiar place, calling out things both familiar and foreign to us, fascinated by the occasional disparity. This old country was completely new and we were surrounded by the people, food, and everything that reminded us of home - really, what could be better? Maybe it was because we were alone, with no relatives to greet us at the airport with hugs and tears of reunion. If you're Italian-American but don't still have family there (that you know of), this might be your initial feeling of Italy too. 

 

Our Advice? Give Naples 36 hours and a few good bottles of wine. If you don't like it after that, you never will, and that's OK. But you just might end up loving it.

 

"NOW what's so funny?" I asked my husband as he laughed to himself.

 "I feel like I'm at a family reunion" he replied, summing up how we both were feeling. "This is the first time me and my nose have felt at home!"  

 

Are You Italian-American who has returned to the old country? We’d love to hear your experience. Share it below!


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